Yesterday was my father's birthday. He is such an amazing man, the more I learn about him the more I grow to admire and respect him. Its a never ending thing. Well today could not have been more horrible, after so much sacrifice to guarantee some college of course more bullshit comes into view, I am now attending 1 fucking class. what fucking bullshit. I don't think I have ever been so angry, I already had everything ready and classes were cancelled just days before the first day. What to do, nobody seemed to be able to help me. I think one man only tried because he could tell I was really sad. The earliest I can even hope to get any answers is Monday, the day of class. Whatever is, is right. On top of that, all this other school-related shit is already fucked up for next year, I am in the process of correcting that as well. However as bad as it seems, I am trying my best to stay positive. Sometimes it works, other times I just start crying in the middle of the road somewhere. I know, I'm a baby. School is one of those things that always gets to me. I hate it. Maybe its the anti-establishment or fuck authority fraction of me that takes over and realizes I'll be part of the system and yet I feel sad when it doesn't work out then of course I feel angry at my predicament. AHHH manic depression. I don't want to leave so much negativity so, the days are really nice, its been really windy and we've been having decent rain chances. Sometimes in my moments of sadness I go outside and feel the wind. Sometimes I listen to drumming. No matter the outcome of my situation, I go to class on Monday. Also, I'm a baller, money has just been finding its way to me, but its always been like that. I think its because I could care less about it, I always seem to have money. Maybe if I always wanted it I wouldn't have it.