Before I write this: yesterday I spent too much time on the internet(facebook), coincidently before sleep I almost had a panic attack, I am just incapable maybe, and I wanted to delete everything of mine from the internet because socializing is so unlike me. Luckily I fell asleep. Today I will post this, and probably not log into facebook for sometime because I am a freak.

From March 6, 2011

I was sitting on a cleared bed, which is rare because so many times my bed is filled with things I am painting, books or papers I'm reading, and journals or whatever. Anyways I was sitting in bed contemplating Time and Life (like always), I don't remember if my eyes were closed or if they were open and just not being used, well when I finally came back to seeing I was facing a wall in my room where I have unfinished paintings stacked up. This is what caught my eye:

Seems like nothing right? Well the smaller painting on the left side is titled Entanglement, inspired by quantum entanglement of course and the alien-type painting has no title but was come by from interest in the brain and connections made with, in this case, dimethyltryptamine. If you are not familiar with quantum entanglement it is just a property where two or more particles form a system and cannot be defined independently; that is they are linked even though the particles may be spatially separated/divided. Their 'connections' also seem to happen instantaneously meaning faster than the speed of light. Without getting into specifics thats all that needs to be known for the sake of this post. Notice one of the entangled connections seems to continue as a brain synapse into the other painting. What a metaphor that is, and what truth it implies! Maybe I'm reading too far into this but the timing of seeing it could not have been more appropriate, I was thinking of how we have an influence on time, In particular I was thinking of how time has bent so many ways in my own experience.

Time. Time. Time. Time's been much on my mind, paradoxically because its been far from it. Does that make sense? Lately Ive been flooded with synchronicities and I feel I am 'being' more in harmony. In other words not living on the clock; as if time is something I'm regulated by. So therefore present in my mind is the question of why am I not frantic about time like most I see? So much talk of end-times, the apocalypse, new beginnings; May 21st among other dates, and the inevitable 2012.

My thoughts on that? I don't think I have much. End times have always been sketchy to me, new beginnings as well, certain predetermined dates for such, more so.Maybe I see it as an ego thing; that we think ourselves so knowledgeable that we know the future while in great irony we damn the present, and maybe subconsciously bring about the very said doom, or need for change we profess.

Another synchronicity: I turn on the radio, there is taking place a conversation on what else but time! In specific, end times and why people have longed for the end of days since the beginning of time. How fucking convenient! Right?! What else to say but I love the flow of Life. So to the point. This predicament of humanities need for end times was expressed SO perfectly. It was said that this need was the "psychological trauma from rejecting the circular/cyclical nature of time". Just brilliant. We have now come to be so far from nature, disregarding harmonious living because we want to dominate time. We want to make it linear. And so the truest part of ourselves maybe wants it to be how it once was, so if not by an end time or a new beginning then how? That is the predicament. The convesation happened to add two books to my to-read list: 'The Myth of the Great End' and 'Black Elk Speaks' in case your interested. Also maybe I will read more of Joseph Campbell, I have his 'The Power of Myth' on my bookshelf maybe its time for a new addition from him?

So much to take in. Its great when you are connected to someone who shares your views and can guide you to fuller concentration of truth in matters scattered throughout thoughts.

I'll leave you with a nice quote:

"The power of the world always works in cycles, and everything tries to be round."

-Black Elk

EVERYTHING TRIES TO BE ROUND